Earlier today, I was asked what would I do if a parent said his child was hit by another child in the kindergarten. I replied that I would promise the parent to investigate and treat the matter seriously. I would also reassure her that hitting is totally unacceptable in the kindergarten. And then, I would discuss with my colleagues to find out more. Reflecting on it now, I think I have shortchanged my friend, who probably would like a proper analysis of the scenario. I once worked for a home based early education and care provider and often had similar questions referred to me. Let me answer this question again:
The incident involves the child who was hit, his mother, the child who hit, the teaching team, and all the other children.
First and foremost, everyone needs to feel safe and secured in the kindergarten. The child has a right to be safe, especially one can learn only when he feels safe. The child who was hit didn't tell a teacher. Why? Did he not trust the teacher? Was there no teacher nearby?If no teacher has witnessed the incident, the team needs to step up their supervision. Are there any blind spots around the kindergarten?
The incident of hitting could be more complicated than it seemed. The child might be provoked, which doesn't give him the license to hit back, of course. But then, it might become a learning opportunity for emotional management. The child needs to learn to stand up for himself in non aggressive way. The teacher needs to talk gently with both children to get a clearer picture of the incident.
What about other children in the kindergarten? Was anyone around at that time? No one came forward to tell a teacher? No matter how vigilant and alert the teachers are, they might not see everything. It is a fact that we must accept it. The teacher could be busy working with some other children who demanded her full attention. Again, the incident calls for some teaching/learning activities about behaviour management. At mat-times, perhaps, a discussion about what constitute unacceptable behaviors? The 4 year olds might be mature enough to draft up a good behaviours contract that could be signed by all of them afterwards. Also, brainstorm what to do when confronted by aggressive behaviours. If the children are younger, give specific instructions about what to do, such as saying, "stop it. I don't like it!" And then, go and find a teacher. The whole group can practice together to say, "No, hitting is not acceptable!" I always advise the children that they are allowed to use a big voice to say NO! in such situation.
Parents are our close ally in supporting the growth and development of young children. They all need to know how we manage behaviours of children in our care. Take the initiative to discuss behaviour issue in newsletters; and seek their feedback. To the mother whose child was hit, explain what actions you're going to take or have taken; inform her about the progress of the investigation; reassure her that hitting is a serious matter; and keep the dialogue and any other two way communication open.
Sufficient? Appropriate? What do you think?
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